The Spiritual Heroes of 12 Step Recovery
In A.A. lore, if her name’s remembered at all, it’ll be as the woman who answered the phone call that put Bill Wilson in touch with Dr. Bob. Of course, there’s much more to Henrietta Seiberling’s story than this, but that’s about as good a place as any to begin. In May of 1935 Bill Wilson found himself standing nearly broke and deeply depressed in the lobby of Akron Ohio’s Mayflower Hotel. Five months sober, he’d been pursuing a business deal that had gone sour and there he was looking across the lobby at a bar that was all but calling his name. In a moment of grace, he remembered how it was only work with other alcoholics back in New York that had pulled him through previous temptations. So he turned his head away from the bar and towards a church directory there on the hotel lobby’s wall. Bill was attracted to unusual names and that of the Rev. Dr. Walter Tunks of St. Paul’s Episcopal Church seemed to leap out at him. Explaining his need, Tunks put Bill in touch with Norm Sheppard who was just then on his way out of town. He suggested Bill call a friend of his who might be able to help. A few moments later, Henrietta picked up the phone.
Now to appreciate just how and why Henrietta wound up at the other end of that phone line, we have to go back a few years in time. See, about two years before this, she had become a member of the Oxford Group there in Akron. It seemed that tire magnate and town leader Harvey Firestone owed the Group a huge debt of gratitude for helping sober up his son. So he brought the Group to Akron to share its story of how tapping into the power of first century Christianity could very practically help people overcome their deepest problems. Henrietta listened attentively to what the Group had to say. She was a graduate of Vassar College and the mother of three children – one of whom was to become an Ohio congressman. Henrietta had married a wealthy scion of the Sieberling Tire fortune but it was an unhappy marriage and she was in the process of a divorce. She was living in the gatehouse of the family estate called Stan Hywet Hall. She found herself deeply moved by the message she heard from the Oxford Group members. Henrietta poured her considerable talents and energies into carrying the Oxford Group message to the people of Akron.
Henrietta led a local prayer group for sometime after that. One of the members of her little group was a physician named Dr. Robert Smith. Bob and his wife Ann had been attending the group for a while, but Bob was not making much spiritual progress. In typical alcoholic fashion, he was hiding from the group the fact that he struggled with a serious drinking problem. Unbeknownst to Bob, Henrietta and most of the town already knew of his problem but they had never confronted him with it. One night, determined to draw Bob out, Henrietta called Ann and told her to come prepared for some serious group sharing. To quote Henrietta who always spoke rather bluntly, “There is going to be no pussyfooting around.”
That night, all in the group shared some secrets. It had the effect on Bob that Henrietta had hoped. When it came his turn Bob said, “Well, you good people have all shared things that I am sure were very costly to you, and I am going to tell you something which may cost me my profession. I am a silent drinker, and I can't stop.” In typical Oxford Group fashion, someone in the group asked, “Do you want to go down on your knees and pray?” Bob said, “Yes,” and so they did. Very soon Bob and the group’s prayer was answered.
Bob’s humble confession to Henrietta and his group came several weeks before Bill Wilson arrived in Akron; and, while it no doubt helped prepare him to receive Bill’s message, Henrietta still wasn’t quite done “softening” Bob up. In her Quiet Time a few days later she received God’s guidance that very clearly said to her, “Bob must not touch one drop of alcohol.” Bob was somewhat disappointed when he heard Henrietta’s guidance. He’d hoped her guidance might lead him miraculously into not taking the eighth or the twelfth drink but he failed like many alcoholics to see God’s wisdom in “not taking the first drink.”
A few weeks later, Henrietta answered Bill’s call and she heard him say, “I’m from the Oxford Group and I’m a rum hound from New York.” Bill told her that he needed an alcoholic to share his story with and did she have anyone in mind. She says she thought immediately that here was God’s answer to her prayer for Dr. Bob. Henrietta arranged the meeting of AA’s future co-founders but her contribution to the fellowship didn’t end there. She also arranged for Bill to stay on in Akron financing a two-week stay at the local country club and then arranging for Bill to join their weekly Wednesday night prayer meetings. Henrietta’s guidance to the new fellowship continued for many years, though always quietly and always in the background. She guided the young group against profiting financially from their work with alcoholics and she also played a key role in guiding them toward the benefits of spiritual anonymity saying, “Those who think they are prominent or that they have become leaders, they all fail, because no one is on top spiritually all the time.”
Her guidance again can be heard when Bill and Bob came to her for advice saying that many of the newly recovered alcoholics didn’t favor so much talk about God and religion. In typical Henrietta style she responded, “Well, we’re not out to please the alcoholics! They’ve been pleasing themselves all these years. We’re out to please God! And if you don’t talk about what God does, and your faith, and your guidance, then you might as well be the Rotary Club or something like that, because God is your only source of power.”
Henrietta Seiberling answered God’s call before she answered Bill’s. She remained true to that call for the rest of her life. She died in 1979. Her relationship with Bill Wilson cooled over the years, as she believed she saw AA drifting from its roots of reliance on God and his guidance to a less spiritual reliance on meetings and the fellowship. Maybe it’s time we called Henrietta again.
Send comments to: Bill Wigmore / Austin Recovery / 8402 Cross Park Dr. / Austin, Texas 78754 or Email: bwigmore@austinrecovery.org